Life Lessons from Menny
A few days before my birthday, I woke up and suddenly knew it was time for a new doggie.
As I looked online at the local shelters and rescues, I knew the moment I saw this face and story that this boy was the one.
While he had a name given to him by the rescue, I knew before I was even sure he’d be coming home that his name would be Menny.
Rob Bell had done a podcast just a few days before on the concept of menuha, which he described as meaning rest/sabbath/celebration, but also a starting and ending point where all is well.
All the work is done … Even if it isn’t.
I loved the idea of naming him after this peace both of us needed so deeply to feel.
I submitted my application ... No small undertaking as this rescue is serious about the quality of their adopters!
All their adoptions are done on Saturdays at one adoption event, and I had submitted my application on a Thursday. My birthday was Saturday, so I dreamed of getting to bring him home that day ... It would’ve been so perfect!
Their automated email said that I would hear within 3 to 5 business days, but they had another note that said applications for Saturday adoptions had to be in by noon on Friday, so I held out hope.
Alas, Thursday went by, Friday went by, and no word on my application.
I decided that if I hadn’t heard anything by Saturday morning, I would just show up at the adoption event, to see if I could speed up the process and try to make sure no one else snapped him up!
Then as I contemplated that, I became hugely stressed.
Would the application review people even be the same ones that were there? Would he be there? Would I be adding confusion or even making myself a less desirable adopter because I can’t follow directions?!
As I contemplated all of the confusion and worry this was beginning to create for what would be my birthday morning - particularly because I had asked my best friend to go there with me before we went to lunch my birthday - I could physically feel the stress building in me.
I had no idea what to do, imagining that this action or that action could result in my getting him or not getting him.
As the stress built and my birthday felt less and less fun, I said out loud “Stop.”
“This stress you’re feeling is you trying to control this.“
It absolutely was.
I had submitted my application, I had said all I needed to say, they have a process and a timeframe, and it was simply out of my hands.
I texted my friend and said that we would just be going to lunch without going by the adoption event, and I immediately felt such peace.
Menuha, you could even say.
As the days went by in silence, I imagined not being the exceptional adopter they were looking for. That there was probably a line around the block wanting this sweet boy, and I would just not be enough.
To my great joy, I finally heard back from my application and was approved to adopt!
There were a couple more emails before I knew for sure that he would be placed on hold for me, but eventually he was.
Then something miraculous happened.
When I arrived at the adoption event having spent days imagining not being enough for this sweet boy and maybe just barely passing their approval process, I gave them my name at check-in and was stunned at the greeting I received.
“YOU’RE SUSAN!
We sent your application around to everyone, wishing that we had 50 more adopters like you.”
As I went through the process of filling out paperwork, etc., they called people over and EVERYONE KNEW ME, from nothing more than words I had written on my application.
It blew my mind.
Since he came home, I’ve discovered the deep truth of everything I’ve learned on my healing journey about control and love.
That control is no part of love, and that magic happens in the space of love when we’re not endeavoring to control.
I have watched his fear transform to love and joy before my eyes.
I have watched him shift from gobbling up his food in a minute to leisurely eating when he likes, knowing it’s going to be there.
I’ve watched him go from staying in his one little spot terrified to even touch the furniture, to being at home curled up on both couches.
All from simply inviting him ... Never directing him.
Never controlling him.
It is miraculous to behold.
We’ve been so misguided in our paradigm of control.
Not only does it stress us out as it did me on my birthday eve, but it’s a complete lie.
We are never in control of anything except ourselves.
Nor do we get to know how things will be when they’re not in our control.
Believing otherwise is a recipe for misery ... For us and everyone around us.
Understanding these things and keeping your focus on things that are within your power changes the entire universe.
So, this is a lesson I need to remember, because something has shifted in my life.
It has shifted from being something I was not healed enough or ready for, to being something I am healed enough and ready for.
Like everything outside myself, though, it is completely out of my hands.
I’m contemplating how to walk that line between what is in my power and what is not.
How to speak this shift and my readiness into the world, taking the steps I can and walking forward with openness, without trying to control things that are not mine.
How to trust what my heart knows to its core - it has not yet been wrong about a single thing I’ve known this depth - while embracing the truth that I don’t get to know.
How to live the questions.
These things take practice, but they are so worth it.